The Drunken Ninja Adventures[]
Now for something different. I have decided to chronicle all possible Kongai Fan Fiction that still remains (given that the official Kongai Forum also had fanfic that was now sadly purged) on this website so that none may further succumb to destruction. The reason I decided to name these blogs "the Apocrypha Games" is that firstly, Kongai is a game (duh!), secondly, "apocrypha" refers to the fact that these stories are at best dubious to Sirlin's official "canon" of Kongai (even tough there isn't that much in the first place) and finally, "apocrypha" also means that these stories are not canon to my attempt at fan fiction (Project Kongai). I have neither used any ideas from these stories (hopefully mere coincidences if any similarities ever show up), since my story has 1. The concepts have been planned out meticulously long ago before I found these. 2. Features original characters from my other concepts Mavericks. And 3. Most of these stories would have some direct conflict with any lore I would have proposed.
Note that the fanfic here has been unaltered, bad grammar and all.
Anyway, here's the 38th book of the Apocrytha Games, written by BloodyBillhook of Kongregate.
- Chapter 1 (Jul 28, 2010 (sourced here)).
- Chapter 2 (Aug 2, 2010 (sourced here)).
- Chapter 3 (Nov 19, 2010 (sourced here)).
The very cliche Chapter 1[]
’Twas a moonless midnight in the mountain temple where the martial artists trained. Higashi was playing a game of Shogi and drinking with Onimaru in the tea room.
“I win” said the master.
“You cheated!” replied the samurai.
“Its not cheating if you don’t get caught.”
“So you admit it!”
“when did I confess to cheating?”
“Sorry to interrupt your world-changing debate, but I’ve got good news and bad news.” Interrupted Yoshiro, who instinctively entered the room silently. Battered and bruised, with a distinct smell of sulfur, he carried a blood-stained note in one hand, while the other was wrapped in bloodied bandages.
“Amaya has run off and left me with this note. I haven’t seen Rumiko either.”
“Well, whats the good news, then?” said Higashi.
“That was the good news master. The bad news is that she attacked me in my sleep and pinned the note to my hand with a shinai. In fact, I’m still a bit woozy, now that I-” He managed to say before collapsing into a crumpled heap of flesh and bone.
Both the master and the samurai took a moment of silence.
“So, want a rematch, young grasshopper?” Said the master, breaking the silence between them.
“What about Amaya?” Asked Onimaru.
“Fuck her, its late, and I’m too old and tired for this ‘find-the-runaway-student-bullshit’. We have time to find her later. Now, how about that rematch?”
Meanwhile,a warrior with a dark aura walked down the mountain road leading from the temple (every temple has one of these). Incidentally, she carried a bottle of sake in her hand, half-full as per Amayas philosophical bent.
Rumiko was following her, in complete silence, but somehow, she got found out by Amaya. Quickly and Silently, she hid in the tree-tops, hoping her she wasn’t seen.
“Rumiko, you’ve always beeeen a pisssss-pooooor niiiinjaaa.” Said amaya, slurring her speech noticeably.
“Damn, how’d you see me?” Said Rumiko, surprised that her 1337 ninja skills failed her.
“Gee sis, Where do I start? Is it your great cleavage, the huge ribbon tied around your back, the fucking bells on said ribbons, your great cleavage, the fact you’re dressed in Neon purple armor with hearts engraved on it, or maybe its your great cleavage.” She said before taking another sip from the bottle of sake.
“Y-You only saw me because I wanted you to find me. And I’m not your sister!” Answered the ninja. “I’m running away with you. I want to see the world outside the temple.”
Amaya simply stared at Rumiko for a second, then gave the idea another second to sink in. “Sure, why not.” She finally said. “Here, have some of that old geezer Higashi’s sake.”
Amaya handed the bottle of sake over to Rumiko, who then took a a good long sip. And together they head down that road, not stopping until they reached the first inn they could find.
Would the two martial artists become more than friends?
Will Higashi get Pissed that His secret stash of Sake was stolen?
What of every other character in Kongai?
When will they Appear?
Only time will answer those questions. Time and a good nights sleep.
Our very hungover Chapter 2[]
The innkeeper wasn’t very remarkable. His name was Jin, and he had taken over the family businss of innkeeping after his parents. He was always on duty, always ready to welcome customers of any kind with open arms. The inn itself wasn’t very noteworthy. The front desk doubled as a bar and besides the stools there were a few tables, but despite that the inn was empty in the morning.
The night before had been relatively uneventful, the only customers who had checked in looked like students from Higashis martial arts-and-craft temple in the mountains. More likely however, was that they were a couple of drunken (yet attractive) posers. Jin didn’t care as long as he got paid though.
He was fantasizing a little about what the two did last night when a man clad in armor from head to toe walked in. The smell of rotten eggs quickly permeated the air, and the room suddenly filled with flies. It was obvious that the man needed a bath.
“You will give me room” he commanded. Jin didn’t protest and inmediately handed over the keys.
Meanwhile Amaya had just woken up. Rumiko had beat her to it, but for a completely different reason. They were still wearing the same clothes from when they ran away from the temple.
“Nothing quite like a good nights sleep to ease the mind!” said amaya as she rose from bed.
“Sezyou” answered Rumiko before throwing up in a bucket.
“I feel like shit. What the hell did you put in those drinks?”
“Nothing. Besides, I drank from the same bottle you did, and I feel fine.”
“Then why do I feel like shit and you don’t? And whats that bulge in your pocket? You aren’t a guy, are you?”
Amaya stuffed her hands down her pocket, and pulled out a small, glasslike jade figurine. Fond memories of her stealing the small statue from the temple popped into her mind. Thinking nothing of it, she put the figure on the table. As soon as she stopped touching the figurine, Amaya began to feel nauseaus, dizzy, and generally just like Rumiko at the moment.
She took the statue again and the malaise went away.
“Figures.” She muttered to herself.
“What figures, I can’t fucking read minds you know. If I could, I’d never lose a single fight.”
“I’m guessing this statue is some kind of cure-all. No wonder Higashi always keeps it with him.”
“Can I have-” Began to say Rumiko, before a general feeling of dread drained her more than she already was. It lasted for a few seconds before fading.
“No can do sis. I stole it, so I get to keep it.”
“…”
“Sis?”
“Did you feel that?”
“Feel what?”
“Nevermind, lets just get the hell out of here. Now. Give me a hand, willya?”
“What, why?”
“Call it a hunch, and lets leave it at that.”
Amaya reluctantly helped Rumiko to her feet and the two students slowly limped down the hallway and down the stairs, past the frontdesk and heading out the door.
“Hey, you can’t leave without paying!”
“Ah hell. Sorreh boy, we ain’t got a dime.” Answered Rumiko.
Amaya decided to keep quiet. Besides the sake and the figurine she had stolen, she had enough money to pay the innkeeper. Sadly, Rumiko had talked before her, and it was obvious that the innkeeper had made up his mind.
The receptionist leapt over the desk and landed in front of Rumiko and Amaya, blocking the front door.
Jin smilied while thinking ‘sweet, threesome.’
“Well, I believe the three of us can arrange a some kind of payment”
And know, he was going to pay for it.
“Gimme a second” said Rumiko, before whispering into Amayas ear. “I’m trading you my Scroll for your Figurine.”
“No way, I need it.”
“I wasn’t asking”
Rumiko managed to stand on her own after picking the figurine from Amayas pocket. Amaya of course collapsed on th floor, the effects of drinking two whole bottles of sake finally catching up to her.
“So about that payment.” said Rumiko before pulling out a handful of shurikens and and throwing them at the innkeeper. What followed would be just what you’d expect from getting several sharp objects embedded in your chest. As the innkeeper was lying on the floor, bleeding to death, Rumiko decided to make sure he was dead, and finished him off by stabbing his heart out.
“Alright, now we can leave.”
After that, the two students walked down the road, heading away from the temple.
Several hours passed after the innkeepers death. The man clad in armor left his room, needing nothing but a small nap. When he saw Rumikos handiwork in the lobby, his only thought was “Crap, someone beat me to it.”
He left the inn, and headed in the opposite direction the students were heading. He was going to the temple, and he was going to have a word with Higashi.
The incredibly Overdue Chapter 3 which sadly lacks Ninjas and Drinking[]
The Man in Black Armor stood before the stairway to he temple, Midday sun beating down on his armor.
His suit emanated a dark energy, his feet killed the very grass he stood on. Roaches and Flies followed his stench wherever he may roam.
His true name was unknown, but he was best known as Rathbone, the Betrayer by his former allies.
Of course, a name like that is not very good for making friends with, and he was someone who was in need of friends at this moment. Alas, that teensy bit about betrayal at the end? He wasn’t going to mention it.
He walked up the staircase, and when he reached the temple at the top, he found Higashi kneeling, looking at a board of Shogi quite pensively.
“Hi, I’m Rathbone,” he said in a deep echoing voice, as a chorus chanting in latin could be heard in the background.
“Ssh, I’m thinking,” answered Higashi without even turning to look at the man.
“I’m here to make a deal,” Rathbone said as he kneeled down to higashi’s level. “I need your help to stop The Brotherhood of Knights from Taking over the world, and turning it into hell on earth.”
“The brotherhood of knights?” answered Higashi, still thinking.
“You know, they’re mysterious just for the sake of being mysterious,” said Rathbone in a mocking tone of voice
“Oh, I know them! I have a drinking buddy in china who works for them. Real nice guy, amazing in a barfight. I can’t quite see him turning the world into shit,” said Higashi as he moved a piece on the board
“You’ve already met Wei-Shan I see. Did he ever tell you about that time he caused a hurricane just to see how many ships he could sink?” Rathbone said in a somber tone of voice.
“Yea, we both thought it was hilarious.” Higashi turned the board around, and then added. “He also told me about your little nickname, Mr. Traitor.”
An awkward silence ensued.
“But thats okay. I’m bored. I haven’t been in a real fight for a while. Maybe you, me, and a couple of my students who still haven’t run away can help you,” He said. For a brief moment, vague memories of his old adventures came back to him.
“And you have no problem with my reputation of stabbing people in the back?” said Rathbone.
“Yes well-” But before Higashi could continue, a soaking wet Onimaru came rushing towards higashi while wearing nothing but his underwear.
“Master, I’m sorry to interrupt your match with yourself, but Yoshiro has run away. And he’s stolen my sword collection. And clothes. And Towel,” said Onimaru while shivering.
“Well, we are quite used to stabbing people in the back, and getting stabbed in the back, so no, we don’t have a problem with that,” finished Higashi.
“Great, I’ll see you at the inn in the town," said Rathbone.
Higashi Stood up, and faced Onimaru. “Have you finished writing “I will not cheat at chess" One-Thousand times?” He asked.
“Yes Master.”
“Excellent, now get dressed, for we are going on an adventure, just like when I was young!”
“That’s nice. I don’t have any clothes though, master.”
“Well, you could always take some of the clothes Amaya left. They might be a bit tight, but they’ll fit you.”
Onimaru sighed. “Yes master”